I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
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