How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
