Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
