It's a beautiful day for a hangover
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
