so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
