he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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