I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize
