the new term for farting is butt boxing.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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