dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
