I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
