Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
