You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
The Olympian is in my bed
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
