My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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