just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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