I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
