We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Your cock deserves a montage
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
