Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
