He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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