There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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