new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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