her vagine was all disorganized.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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