8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Randomize
