even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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