What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Semen is not good for contacts.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
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