Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I wish you could order shots online.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Randomize
