I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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