I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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