I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Randomize
