Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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