On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Randomize
