I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
is this the sara with the beer cane?
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
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