playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
