So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Randomize
