Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Sorry about my life...
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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