Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
