I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
