I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
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