Porn is love you can see.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
