She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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