how can u be prego again
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
