I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
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