I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I just googled if crying burns calories
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
