i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
my shit smells like andre
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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