Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
