I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
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