Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
