I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
