Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
