did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
