Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
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