so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
