i barfeds in our rink
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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