Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize
